Thursday, September 18, 2008

Poop is not my friend (viewer discretion advised)

What a night! Did I mention that the stomach bug is going through my family? Well, it is, and it will not go away. I had it last Tuesday-Saturday and Emma Jane has had it from Saturday-today. So, I went to her doctor yesterday. She gave me a list of stuff that Emma Jane could eat. She said once she starts feeling a little better, she can have a little chicken. BIG MISTAKE! That is how this story begins.
Well, Emma Jane had been feeling better for more than 24 hours, so I thought I would try out the chicken. I felt bad that the girl had only had bananas, rice, and bread for the past 4 days, so I gave in. Well, thirty minutes later, I am feeding CJ...Emma Jane is wandering around our apartment just happily playing. She comes back into the room, and BAM!! WHAT IS RUNNING DOWN HER LEG ONTO HER BLANKIE THAT I JUST CLEANED?!?!? OH, YES, DIARRHEA...AND LOTS OF IT COMING DOWN FAST! YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!
I instantly put CJ down, grab Emma Jane , and run her into our bathroom to put her in the tub. (As I am running her to the bathroom, I notice a trail of Diarrhea on the carpet everywhere Emma Jane had been in the past 5 minutes! DOUBLE DISGUSTING!) I try to pull her diaper off gracefully, but that was to no avail. Diarrhea everywhere! So Disgusting. How could so much come out of such a small girl. This really baffles my mind. I go to turn on the water to wash Emma Jane off. I pull the nozzle. NOTHING! NO WATER! Of all the times my apartment needs to turn off the water, it had to be now! Awesome!
So, I instantly leave Emma Jane, run to the kitchen and grab two bottles of water. Meanwhile, Emma Jane is crying b/c I left her, and CJ is screaming, crying b/c I left him on the floor, and he is wondering why no one is picking him up. I run back to the bathroom to find Emma Jane meeting me halfway there...covered in more Diarrhea b/c she apparently slipped while trying to get out of the diarrhea filled tub...and now there are new diarrhea stains on the carpet and all over the bathroom from her getting out of the tub. I grab her stick her back in the tub. I started pouring the water on her. She is crying wondering why her mother doesn't just fill up the bath like she normally does? She also is crying b/c the water I am pouring on her is very cold. Sorry sweat heart.
When she is washed off, I dry her off, and put a diaper on her. I try to wash my hands, but oh yes, there is no water left for me to wash them off. Emma Jane then runs off happy as a clam. At this point, I access the situation. I have diarrhea on my hands and on my feet from walking through the house. There is lots of diarrhea in the bottom of my tub. There is diarrhea on the mats in the bathroom, on the sides of the tub where Emma Jane tried to get out. There is diarrhea spilling from the soiled diaper in the sink. There is diarrhea on the carpet in my closet, my bedroom, the hallway, Emma Jane's room, and the front room. The smell of diarrhea is pretty overwhelming. CJ is crying, wondering why his meal was rudely interrupted, and I HAVE NO WATER. I instantly grab the Sam's Club bag of wipes, and get to work.
It has now been a couple of hours. The kids are finally in bed. I have two candles going, and my house still smells like poop! I have two loads of laundry. The carpet is clean, and the bathrooms are almost clean. What a night! I don't think Emma Jane has anything left to poop for a couple of days. Thank goodness b/c right now, poop is not my friend.
For those of you who do not have kids that read this, do not let this deter you from having kids. They are great. They just poop, and you have to touch it. So, get over it now, at one point, probably several, you will have a moment where you are covered in poop! Sorry to gross anyone out.


BJC said...

I really had to laugh at that one because I have been there and it is DISGUSTING!!! Mine had a constant stream coming out both ends though and there was no stopping it. When my husband has kids like that come into the ER, they are put on a diet of bananas, rice, applesauce(NO juice, it causes diarrhea), toast, yogurt, pedialyte and water(if that stays down in little sips). I'm sure that's what your pediatrition told you though. Oh, this is Carl's cousin Jaime. I met you once, at the ASB in Provo, just after you got married, so I don't know if you remember me. We live in NC. Anyway, best of luck!!!

Kira =] said...

first- hahahahahhhhaaaa! =]

now - i've so been there!! well except i had water. I think I identify most with the littlest screaming on the floor while trying to clean up the disgusting one (that's also crying).

Nancy said...

Sorry, I laughed out loud. So sad. Let me know when all is well so I can come and visit : )

Heather said...

I feel so sorry for you and Emma Jane. I had the stomach bug last week, but luckily mine only lasted from Thursday to Saturday. It was no fun. Hope everyone gets to feeling better. Try some febreeze on the poop smelling carpet.

Swenson girls rock said...

Hey Courtney
I found your link on Nicoles blog it is so nice to connect with some old friends. Congratulations on the birth of little Carl how fun. I am very happy that your house in Montgomery sold, wish we were having as much luck ours still hasn't sold. We are all doing well in Las Vegas. McKaella went to her first Girls Camp this summer and had a great time. The twins are growing so fast and the rest of us are just trying to beat the heat. Would love to hear from you my blog is Take care
Pamela Swenson

Crazy Lady said...

that is an awesome story. i'm wondering why i never wrote down those golden moments. like when luke threw up on his bed and it went down to the bottom bunk too.

here is my big question: When exactly is poop your friend? cause if its not now, does that mean it used to be?

Just a thought

Lindsey said...

Ohhh Courtney!! That sounded pretty good. I just can't believe you didn't have water right then. That is AWFUL!! Yuck is right and it is true that at some point in the first 3 years of life, you will have poop all over. So sad. That did make me laugh reading that story, sorry. Hope it gets better soon!

Wade, Nicole, Nora, Audrey said...

I think you handeled it better than I would have...GROSS! Don't forget to tell all the peeps with out kids that it doesn't stop with poop. I have had throw up all over me too...double gross! ;) Hope you are all feeling better!

Cali Haynie said...

Oh my goodness Courtney I am so sorry! That is quite the crazy story! and quite disgusting. Way to get through that!!

Joe Haynie said...

Ouch! My sides hurt from laughing! What kind of twisted nature do we human beings have that, when faced with someone else's disaster, we respond with laughter. Perhaps it is a kind of twisted empathy (since so many of us have been there). You and every other young mother are my heros. I hope Carl was compassionate when he found out what happened and has been really nice to you since.

It was great to visit with you guys at the funeral.

AJordan said...

When it rains it pours... from reading uncle joes' comment, I have to say that while all of this was going on I would have been furious at Jeff for having the nerve to not be there while it was going on. Isn't that lame. Sorry it happened. I'm glad you have it documented so you can tell the kids about it later and laugh. We miss you guys!

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